I'm David. Husband, father of four, and coach.Before any of that I was a Judo athlete, competed internationally for Great Britain, 2nd Dan black belt. Discipline and competition were basically my whole identity for years.

When that ended I looked fine on paper. Good career, good family, seemed like I had it together. But underneath I was burnt out and disconnected from who I actually was, as a man, as a partner. Then I became a father and everything I'd been holding together just came apart. That was my rock bottom, and for the first time in my life, gritting my teeth and pushing through wasn't going to get me out of it.

I went to therapy. It helped, I could talk about things, understand where some of it came from. But it didn't change how I actually showed up day to day. I could explain myself better. I still wasn't living any differently.

What actually shifted things was doing deeper work, learning to regulate myself instead of just white-knuckling through, taking real responsibility for my part in things, and figuring out what I actually cared about underneath all the performing.

I trained in Gestalt therapy, Jungian psychology, parts work, and embodiment practice, and spent the last decade running Mantra Menswork, working directly with hundreds of men using that approach. I'm not a therapist. What I do goes just as deep, but it doesn't stop at understanding yourself, it's about actually changing.

I've also spent a lot of time in rooms with high performers, running workshops for leadership teams and business owners. What I've noticed doing that work is the title on someone's door tells you almost nothing about how they're actually doing. I've worked with men worth millions and men on tag release from prison trying to piece their life back together, and honestly the work is the same. I don't care what someone earns or what's on their CV. That stuff tells you who they're supposed to be. I'm interested in the person underneath it.

I only work with a handful of men at a time. If you've built a life that looks good from the outside and feels like it's falling apart on the inside, this is probably the conversation you need to have.